I used to think getting to the bottom of a pint of ice cream was depressing and then I got to the bottom of a bottle of Percocet. I’m crying

82

I hate the phrase “lactose intolerant”. I think ice cream is colon intolerant.

83

There probably isn’t a number high enough as to how many pints of ice cream Alec Baldwin eats a day

78

How did Reese eat her cereal? Witherspoon.

211