What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!

159

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.

158

What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.

154

Why don’t they make ice cream from breast milk? It’s an udderly bad idea!

152

Where is the best place to get an ice cream? IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.

148

What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What’s the scoop

152

Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.

153

Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after beating the shit out of you.

159

In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions.

173

If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship.

170