What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse! 180
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode. 186
Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after beating the shit out of you. 182
In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions. 194
If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship. 196