What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!

219

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.

252

What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.

212

Why don’t they make ice cream from breast milk? It’s an udderly bad idea!

208

Where is the best place to get an ice cream? IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.

204

What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What’s the scoop

236

Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.

215

Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after beating the shit out of you.

228

In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions.

255

If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship.

249