What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream? You get Breyer’s remorse!

137

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a’la mode.

136

What does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.

137

Why don’t they make ice cream from breast milk? It’s an udderly bad idea!

133

Where is the best place to get an ice cream? IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.

127

What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What’s the scoop

133

Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.

133

Your evil stepdad isn’t “presidential” just because he got you ice cream and told you things would change after beating the shit out of you.

135

In 1973 my dad left to get ice cream and never came back. Mom says he’s probably just lost because he hates stopping to ask for directions.

146

If my house catches fire after I’ve sat down with a bowl of ice cream, I’m going down like the goddamn captain of a ship.

149