Here is the best and funniest bundle of dog puns:
1- What’s a dog’s perfect job? Bark-eology.
2- Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the “barking” lot!
3- What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
4- What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
5- What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? He stole the show!
6- What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver!
7- What does my dog and my phone have in common? They both have collar I.D.
8- What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? Dingo Starr!
9- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
10- What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee? a Greyhound Buzz.
11- Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair? Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.
12- What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware wolf.
13- Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart? He was CON-fused!
14- What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
15- What did the skeleton say to the puppy? bonappetite
16- What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
17- Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? It was a dog
and pony show.
18- What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? The collie wobbles!
19- What do you call a black Eskimo dog? A dusky husky!
20- She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
21- Never trust a dog to watch your food.
22- What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
23- My dog and I are working in a new product: it’s a combination toilet bowl cleaner and dog breath freshener.
24- A Chihuahua looks like a dog that is still far away!
25- I have a dog that’s half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a guard dog, but a vicious gossip.
26- Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.
27- My dog is half Labrador, half pit bull. She bites off my leg and then brings it back to me.
28- My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.
29- This farmer is lucky enough to own a talking sheepdog.
30- After the dog gets all the sheep in the pen, he says to the farmer: “Right, that’s all forty sheep accounted for.”The farmer says, “But I’ve only got 37 sheep.” The sheepdog says, “I know. I rounded them up.”
31- What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone? A golden receiver.
32- What type of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.
33- How does a dog stop a TV show? He presses paws.
34- Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it.
35- What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? The collie wobbles.
36- Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema? Anywhere it wants to.
37- What type of dog doesn’t bark? A hush puppy.
38- What type of dog likes having a bath? A shampoodle.
39- What’s a dog’s favorite type of pizza? Pup-peroni.
40- What type of dog wears glasses? A cock-eyed spaniel.
41- What do you call a dog with a Rolex? A watch dog.
42- What did the dog say to the fleas? Stop bugging me.
43- Did you hear about the dog who gave birth on the sidewalk? She was ticketed for littering.
44- What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and one tags a whale.
45- This dog walks into a telegraph office and picks up a blank form.
46- The dog shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief and says “But that would make no sense at all.”
47- How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied!
48- Why did the dog cross the road twice? He was trying to fetch a boomerang.
49- I walked into a shop yesterday and the girl behind the counter said, “Sorry, no dogs.” I said, “That’s okay, I brought my own. It’s actually cigarettes I want.”
50- Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet.
51- A dog walks into a hardware store and asks for a job.
52- The guy in the store says, “Sorry, we don’t hire dogs. Why don’t you go join the circus?”
53- The dog says, “What would the circus want with a plumber?”
54- What do you call a frozen small dog? A pupsicle.
55- I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.