The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.

Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

There was a cat with 16 lives.
A 4×4 (jeep) ran it over,
And the cat died.

If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.