What is One Difference Between a Clarinet and a Mouse? You can’t hear a mouse squeak over the entire band.

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What’s the definition of a minor second? Two oboists playing in perfect unison.

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What is the Difference Between a Saxophone and a Lawnmower? Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.

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What concert costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm? A tattoo.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say I don’t know, what do you think?

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What do you do if your bassist is drowning? Throw him his amp.

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How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune ? Evidently all of them.

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How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch ? Pay for the pizza.

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on? He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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