Cheesy Puns Collection by Puns Ville
What do u call a fake noodle?
Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle…
There is to many cheetahs 😂
Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: He took a sip of his tea before it was cool.
What did the deer say when he left the gay bar?
“I can’t believe I blew 50 bucks in there!”
Did you hear the joke about the tortilla? It was corny.
I used to date someone with a lazy eye. It didn’t work out. He was seeing someone on the side.
Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are really expensive but deer nuts are always under a buck.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Hey, wanna hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
How about a construction joke? Actually, I’m still working on it.
Want to hear a joke about my pen!$?
Never mind it’s too long.
Wanna hear a joke about my v@gina?
Nevermind, you’ll never get it.
Wanna hear a joke about sound?
Nevermind, I think you already heard it.
Wanna hear a joke about my cock? Nah, it’s too short.
And now I’m depressed. Aww.
Q: Where did the computer go to dance?
A: To a disc-o
Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring time
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!
Q: Why did Roger go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!
Q: How do you shoot a killer bee?
A: With a bee-bee gun
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver
Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A: Hi Cliff!
Want to hear a joke about Jonestown? Actually, the punch line is too long.
How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.
Why can’t a bicycle stand on it’s own? It’s two tired.
What are you when you’re running in front of a car?
Why are you when you run behind a car?
A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.
Why did Tiger Woods stop winning golf tournaments?
He stopped cheating.
What does a duck smoke?
Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time
Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks!
Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A: Sunday, of course!
Q: What bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow!
Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment
Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A: A Bed
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You’re too young to smoke!
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Cause they arrrrr.
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin’ robins.
Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
A: Because it’s a little meteor
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He neverlands!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
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