Cute Puns
The cutest collection of cute puns:
What do you call a kid with a dictionary in his pocket?
Smarty pants.
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fun guy.
What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for school?
Bison.
What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
No thanks, I’m stuffed.
What kind of dog lives at the North Pole?
A chilli dog.
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing.
Did you hear about the pregnant cat that ate a bowl of wool?
She had mittens.
What pet makes the loudest noise?
A trum-pet.
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
You look flushed.
Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.
Why did the cookie go to hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look Grandpa, no hands.
What do you get when you cross some fish with some elephants?
Swimming trunks.
Which building has the most storeys?
The library.
Why should you never tell jokes to a window?
In case it cracks up.
What do lawyers wear for work?
Lawsuits.
What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?
A vel-crow.
What do you say to a one-legged hitch-hiker?
Hop in.
Why can’t dalmatians play hide and seek?
Because they’d get spotted.
What’s the best day to go to the beach?
On Sunday.
What bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
TOP 30 Cutest Puns
1. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
2. To some, marriage is a word. To others, a sentence.
3. When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.
4. My wife tells me I’m a skeptic, but I don’t believe a word she says.
5. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
6. What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Cantelope.
7. To many girls think the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.
8. Two nuclear technicians got married. She was radiant and he was glowing.
9. Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.
10. Some men view marriage as a matter of wife and debt.
11. Two fonts, Arial and Calibri, were in the midst of a bad breakup. Calibri said, ‘I’m sorry, you’re personality is too bold.’ Arial responded, ‘You’re just not my type.’
12. Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
13. When a psychic showed me the girl I’ll marry, it was love at second sight.
14. Two cannon balls got married and had BB’s.
15. Instead of engaging in my own hobbies, my wife has me constantly helping her in her garden. I guess you could say I am pistil whipped.
16 My boyfriend and I started to date after he backed his car into mine. We met by accident.
17. Too many little digs sends a marriage to an early grave.
18. They were a fastidious couple. She was fast, he was tedious.
19. A girl and her boyfriend went to a party dressed as a barcode. They were an item.
20. A husband who thinks he is as solid as a rock may have a wife who wishes he was a little bolder.
21. Helicopter rescue pilots have the most successful pick-up lines.
22. Have you ever wondered why baseball players get girlfriends? They’re great at hitting it off.
23. A bartender’s marriage was on the rocks so he took a cheap shot.
24. The bride’s best friend is so proud, she’s practically made of honor.
25. He tried to get her to marry him to no a-veil.
26. My girlfriend once gave me a Valentine made of soft leather. What a suede heart.
27. I went to prom with a broken leg. During the slow dances my date could tell that I had a crutch on her.
28. Black widow to mate: I met my last husband on the web
29. A janitor with a broom in hand swept her off her feet.
30. Why did the proton blush? It was positively attracted to the electron.
31. The triangle relationship soon became a wreck-tangle.
32. They were married by candle-light, but the marriage lasted only a wick.
33. When a knight was courting his lady, he wore a suit of amour.
34. She didn’t marry the gardener. Too rough around the hedges.
35. When his wife asked for wooden walls in the basement, they had a panel discussion.
Cute Puns
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
Because he used a honey-comb.
What noise does a chicken’s phone make?
Wing wing.
What does homework stand for?
Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge.
What do whales eat for their tea?
Fish and ships.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.
Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.
Where do hamburgers dance?
At a meat ball.
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
You’ve got a really good point.
What type of dog does Dracula own?
A bloodhound.
Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
How does a train eat?
It goes chew chew.
What kind of cup can’t you drink out of?
A cup-cake.
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