If you’ve been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, jut duet!

171

Jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny.

144

I make apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.

154

The bomb did not want to go off, so it refused.

139

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

131

I can’t count how many times I failed maths at school.

120

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving is not for you.

151

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.’

125

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

417

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: ‘A beer please, and one for the road.’

125