Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 213
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. 432
I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 155
Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory. 171
Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level. Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think. 175