Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?”

128

An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

184

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

147

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.

131

The biggest difference between time and space is that you can’t reuse time.

107

There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

120

It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.

159

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

147

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.

136