Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?”

32

An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

46

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.

35

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.

35

The biggest difference between time and space is that you can’t reuse time.

26

There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

27

It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.

32

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

31

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.

28