I asked my wife what she’d like for Mother’s Day & she said for me to drive 7 hours east with the kids & then turn around & come back.

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Pee Wee: What did the digital clock say to its mother? Westy: What? Pee Wee: “Look, Ma! No hands!”

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Daffynition: Sweater something you wear when your mother gets cold.

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What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Popcorn?

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What do you call a small mom? minimum.

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What book do moms like the most? Their husbands checkbook!

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Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!

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Jack: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? Bill: What? Jack: It’s time to go to sweep!

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What do you call a mom who can’t draw? Tracy.

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Why is a computer so smart? Cause it listens to its motherboard.

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