TOP 74 funniest math puns on the entire Internet:
1- Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle? They were right for each other
2- Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging? Because X was always 10
3- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi
4- Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn’t Cosine
5- Why is beer never served at a math party? Because you can’t drink and derive.
6- Why didn’t the number 4 get into the nightclub? Because he is 2 square
7- Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many problems.
8- What is a bird’s favorite type of math? Owl-gebra
9- What is a French mathematician’s favorite pick up line? “Voulez vous Cauchy avec moi?”
10- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach? Because it was over 90 degrees
11- Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
12- What is the first derivative of a cow? Prime Rib!
13- What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)? A natural log cabin!
14- What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? A tangent
15- What do you call a snake after it drinks five cups of coffee? A hyper boa.
16- What did al Gore play on his guitar? An algorithm
17- What do you call an angle that is adorable? Acute angle.
18- What do you call a destroyed angle? A Rect-angle.
19- Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
20- Why was the calculus teacher bad at baseball? He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
21- Why did the polynomial plant die? Its roots were imaginary.
22- Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point!
23- What is a math teacher favorite type of tree? A ‘Geome-tree’
24- Why is the obtuse triangle always upset? Because it is never right.
25- What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock? Arithma-ticks!
26- What happened to the indeterminate form that got sick? It had to go to l’Hospitar.
27- What’s the contour integral around Western Europe? Zero, because all the Poles
are in Eastern Europe!
28- What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest? A high-pot-in- use.
29- Why did the two 4’s skip lunch? They already 8!
30- Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It was too cubed.
31- What did one Calculus book say to the other? Don’t bother me I’ve got my own
32- Which triangles are the coldest? Ice-sosceles triangles.
33- Who invented the round Table? Sir Cumference
34- Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter? She covers the story from every angle.
35- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? Because theyhave sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
36- Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality? It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
37- There are three kinds of people in the world, those who can count and those who can’t.
38- Cakes are round, but Pi are square.
39- Without geometry, life is pointless.
40- Write the expression for the volume of a thick curst pizza with height ‘a’ and radius ‘z’
41- Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but U heard their chatter continuously.
42- Three out of two people have trouble with fractions
43- An opinion without 3.14159 is just an opinion.
44- Parallel lines have so much in common.. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
45- Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
46- Dear math, please grow up and find solve your own problems; I’m tired of solving them for you.
47- Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle? Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
48- What does a mathematician do about constipation? He works it out with a pencil.
49- How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children? ‘I’ve told you n times, I’ve to you n+1 times…
50- What is the difference between Ph.D in mathematics and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
51- What polygon is also a card trick? Decagon
52- Why did the statistician drown while crossing a river? It was 3 feet deep… on average.
53- What do you call it when a mathematician’s parrot hasn’t been fed? Poly”no meal”
54- How do you solve any equation? A multiply both sides by zero.
55- What did 2 say to 4 after beating him in a race? I’m 2 fast 4 U!
56- Dear algebra, please stop asking us to find your X. She’s never coming back and don’t ask Y.
57- Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
58- Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules, mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
59- Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the university as bananas and non-bananas
60- A circle is just a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
61- How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit? By using a cod-ratic inequality.
62- What does the little mermaid wear? An algae-bra.
63- What is the definition of a polar bear? A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.
64- Why is the Rational Root Theorem so polite? It minds its p’s and q’s
65- What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his cures? Hexagon.
66- What’s nonorientable and lives in the sea? Moebius Dick!
67- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
68- What’s the king of the pencil case? The rules.
69- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
70- What’s the difference between a diameter and a radius? A Radius.
71- How does a mathematician call his dog? Cauchy, because it leaves a residue at every pole.
72- What’s purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.
73- What’s yellow and imaginary? A square-root of negative banana.
74- How do you know that your dentist studied algebra? She said all the candy gave me exponential decay.
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