I would write a screeching tyre novel, but I’m not very frictional…

140

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming

206

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

231

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

352

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

144

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

148

Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

152

I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

128

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

438

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

148