I would write a screeching tyre novel, but I’m not very frictional…

112

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming

161

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

178

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

284

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

117

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

114

Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

114

I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

99

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

347

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

115