What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.