I would write a screeching tyre novel, but I’m not very frictional…

95

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s very time consuming

140

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

152

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

242

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

103

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

99

Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

100

I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

85

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

300

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

102