This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”

59

I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.

69

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

65

When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).

66

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

52

What do you call a marketplace that sells weird stuff? A bizarre bazaar!

52

I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.

52

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

48

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants to the game? Just in case he got a hole in one.

52