Internet Puns

A great bundle of Internet puns; enjoy!

Internet puns

You despise Microsoft FrontPage as a web editing tool and as extensions to your webserver.


You can answer the question ‘is the internet broken’ without laughing.


You can spot the theme behind the following list: RedHat, SuSE, Debian, Caldera, Slackware.


You can feel the load a server is under without actually checking statistics. It ‘just isn’t running right’ actually makes sense.


You maintain more than four websites and do not have time for a personal web page.


You know all of the following people by reputation and can explain what they’ve done that is relevant to your world: Steve Case, Linus Torvalds, Eric Allman, Sanford Wallace.


You know what TCP/IP stands for, not to mention DNS, HTTP, SNMP, BGP, OSPF, and DUN. You like acronyms.


I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it “Bang”. I mean, think about it.. “I BANGED Emma Watson last night.”


The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI…


On the Internet you can be anything you want. It’s so strange that many people choose to be stupid.


Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile…


Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter. When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can’t find him.


A press release: “Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence.”


Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting “Live life full”. That’s just 3 random words. I’m going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.


Facebook: “My kids are perfect.” Instagram: “My kids are beautiful.” Twitter: “My kids are why I drink.”


The facts on this website are Chuck Norris’ smallest acheivements. If you knew what he was really capable of, you would never sleep at night.


Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet, you’ll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!


What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? An URLologist.


My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent animal! Not really, it took the cat three weeks to teach him.


After I had a minor accident, the ER nurse asked my mother for my height and weight, and I blurted out, “Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds.”


While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me. “Sweetheart,” she gently chided, “this is not the Internet.”


What’s O. J. Simpson’s Internet address? Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.


Can you show me how to use the Internet? I d better – otherwise you will just go round and round in circles.


Who’s the chief of the internet? E-ronimo!


Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.


How do trees get on the Internet? They log in.


A man and wife were both in an Internet business, but it was the husband who truly lived, ate and breathed computers. His wife finally realized how bad it had gotten when one day she was scratching his back, and he said “No, not there. Scroll down a little.”


Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing? YouTube Myspace and I’ll Google your Yahoo


I won’t stop bugging you until I get the address to your home page!
Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.
Baby you know this shit isn’t USB2.0..it’s firewire!
Do you like the internet? Cause I can put you on there if you come back to my place. Is your name google? (Why?) Because you have exactly what I’m looking for!


How’d you like to come to MySpace so I can Twitpic your Yahoo until you tweet my Tumblr and I Google all over your Facebook!


I wish you were DSL so I could get high speed access


Is their WiFi in hear because I feel a strong connection


Baby, if they made you in Java, you’d be the object of my desire.


If I was a Facebook Status, would you like me?


How’d you like to come to MySpace so I can Twitter you with my Yahoo until I Google on your FaceBook?


Hey baby, let’s turn off our firewalls and connect our Ethernet cable. Want to see my Red Hat?


You know where the email settings are in Internet Mail, Outlook Express, Pegasus, Eudora, Netscape Mail, Messenger Mailbox, and you don’t use any of those programs for personal use.


You know more phone numbers to modem banks than you know phone numbers to people. You can name two web browsers other than Netscape or Microsoft’s.
You find telnet a helpful daily tool instead of wondering what it is for.


You loathe the dancing baby and other large file attachments sent through email to unsuspecting users who can’t pick them up off the server and then have to call and whine that their email doesn’t work anymore.

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