Hair Puns

The funniest hair puns collection.

Hair puns

Knock Knock.. Who’s there ! Barber ! Barber who ? Barberd wire !


What side of a monster has more hair ? The outside !


How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short.


What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement ? Permanent waves ! What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ? Radio waves !


What do you call a policeman with blonde hair ?A fair cop ! What do you call a pen with no hair ? A bald point !


I want a hair cut please. Certainly, which one !


What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy !


What should you buy if your hair falls out ? A good vacuum cleaner !


Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).


Why was the lady’s hair angry? Because she was always teasing it.


How does the queen bee fix her hair? She uses a honey comb! – Or – Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they have honeycombs


Three year old son Scott had thin fly-away hair, so his mother often wet it to comb it into place. One morning as she applied water and slicked his hair back , she announced it was time for him to get another haircut. “Mom.” Scott replied, “If you’d quit watering it so much, it wouldn’t grow so fast!”


After his shower, eight-year old Nick came downstairs and announced that he had washed his hair and body with the new shampoo I’d bought. When I asked him why he’d done that, he replied, “Because the bottle said full body!”


All men have the same amount of hormones. If you want to use yours growing body hair, that’s your business.


What does a blonde call a bottle of black hair dye??…Artificial intelligence.


New paper advertisement – Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.


Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? Doctor: A shoebox.


Two old ladies sat on a bench talking. One said to the other, “Good heavens! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!” The second lady replied, “It is a wig.” “Really?” exclaimed the first lady, “You could never tell!”


What my “Ph.D.” really stands for: Professional hair Dresser. Preventing baldness is simple. Just knot your hair from the inside.


One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother’s hair and sadly said: “Why are some of your hair white mom?” The mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white. The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said, “Momma, how come *all* of grandma’s hairs are white?”


If you perm your hair twice in opposite directions, does it come out straight?


Did you hear about the guy who lost all his hair in the war? He lost it in a hair raid.


Are hair web sites located on mane frames?


If a man stepped on Rapunzel’s hair would he be arrested for tress-passing ? There are three ways a man wears his hair – parted- unparted or departed


A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, “What will it be today?” Guy says, “well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up.” Barber says, “Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that.” Guy says, “That’s how you cut it last time”


A woman was cutting her husband’s thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She ofered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities. “It has more vitamin C than an orange,” she remarked. “And more hair than Dad,” added their son.


Why are brunettes so proud of their hair ? It matches their mustaches.


A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, “How’d you get such lovely blonde hair” Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It’s natural.” The guy walked by the second girl and asked, “How’d you get such pretty brown hair?” Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, “It’s natural.” Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, “How’d you get such cool green hair?”


Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it
through the hair, she said, “It’s natural.”


What do you call a proton with big hair? A ‘froton.
Why do polo bears like bald men ? Because they have a great, white, bear place ! How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way.

Enjoyed these hair puns? Check also:

Bad Puns

Food Puns

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