I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

A father got blazing mad when he found a fire set by his boy behind their house and said ‘I don’t want arson doing things like that.

Did you hear about that circus fire? It was in tents.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? A thousand soles got burned, some heel did it while he was laced.

I’d really be tempted to take these trousers out back and set them on fire, but I’ve never been one for burning my britches.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

We spent all day debating about housefires. It was quite a heated argument.

When a fire broke out in the barber shop it was a close shave but everyone got out by a whisker.

With only one piece of wood, I tried to convince the fire to light by use of a monologue.