I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

4

A father got blazing mad when he found a fire set by his boy behind their house and said ‘I don’t want arson doing things like that.

4

Did you hear about that circus fire? It was in tents.

5

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

3

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? A thousand soles got burned, some heel did it while he was laced.

4

I’d really be tempted to take these trousers out back and set them on fire, but I’ve never been one for burning my britches.

3

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

5

We spent all day debating about housefires. It was quite a heated argument.

4

When a fire broke out in the barber shop it was a close shave but everyone got out by a whisker.

3

With only one piece of wood, I tried to convince the fire to light by use of a monologue.

3