Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
Why do bananas use sunscreen? Because they peel.