Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

50

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

47

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

52

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

50

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

49

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

51

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

45

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

53

Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.

54

Why do bananas use sunscreen?  Because they peel.

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