What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup.

54

Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery

34

I hate perforated lines, they’re tearable.

39

Just watched a documentary about beavers… It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen.

36

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

35

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

33

Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace.

32

I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.

41

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

26

What kind of fish is made of only 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

34