Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

276

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.

263

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

254

Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

215

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

191

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.

240

I named my hard drive “dat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to ‘back dat ass up’.

231

I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

241

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

252

It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

227