Coffee Puns

 funniest collection of coffee puns by Puns Ville.

coffee puns

Why are men are like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!

Why are all Jewish men required to make a good cup of coffee? Because according to the Torah He Brews!

Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage? Because it’s GROUNDS for divorce!

Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu? Because they want that Frappacino to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!

What is best Beatles song? Latte Be!

What do you call sad coffee?” Despresso. If you say “Pumpkin Spice Latte” into a mirror three times, a white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all her favorite things about fall.

Why can Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee? Because they have Italian titles for everything!

What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore? Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic Sanka What did the doctor say when a baby was born holding a Starbucks latte? “Its a white girl.”

Why do I not like hot drinks? It’s just not my cup of tea.

Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . “He- brews”

What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee? Java the Hut! How do you make Pig Jerky? Give them some coffee.

What’s the opposite of coffee? Sneezy.

What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common? They are all better rich!

What do you call a baby calf that’s lost his head? De-calf

How Did the Hipster Burn His Tongue?He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What’s It Called When You Steal Someone’s Coffee?Mugging!

How Are Coffee Beans like Kids?They’re always getting grounded!

How Are Men like Coffee?The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

What Do You Call Sad Coffee?Despresso.

How Does a Tech Guy Drink Coffee?He installs Java!

There Are Two Kinds of People…Coffee people and sad people

Why Are Italians so Good at Making Coffee?Because they know how to espresso themselves.

What’s Black and Doesn’t Work?Decaffeinated coffee.

What’s the Difference Between Starbucks and a Prostitute? Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!

Why Do They Call Coffee Mud?Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

What Kind of Coffee Was Served on the Titanic?Sanka.

How Is Divorce like Espresso?It’s expensive and bitter.

Why Are all Jewish Men Required to Make a Good Cup of Coffee?Because according to the Torah, he brews!

What’s Fat, Slimy, and Drinks a lot of Coffee?Java the Hut.

What Did the Barista’s Valentine Say?Words cannot espresso my love for you.

I am very shy in public. I can, however, espresso myself quite adequate if I have a cup of coffee and a glass of wine.

I have bean missing a lot of that dark Brazilian.

They came all the way from Ethiopia, and they have bean a tremendous help to our company.

Very smooth, yet with a lot of energy, they helped us recover our focus by taking over the daily grind.

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