The funniest cheese puns ever.
What music does cheese listen to? R & Brie.
How did the cheese paint his wife? He double Gloucester.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Why did the cheese lose a fight with a stone? Because the Roquefort back.
When can’t you see a cheese? When it’s pasteurised..
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds.
Why does cheese look sane? Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Looking Gouda…
What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese? Because she was getting Feta and Feta.
Why did the clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn’t get his Stilton.
I don’t know what to do with this pungent Dutch cheese but if I had to go out on a limb burger. Would a smoked cheese grow on a tree? No, but an applewood.
What would be a Cornish pirate’s favourite cheese? Yarrrrrrg.
Why did the French washed rind jump off a bridge? He couldn’t take it any Langres.
Want to get hypnotised by some cheese, then it’s got to be pasteurised.
I used to work as a cheesemonger, but I camembert it any longer.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese!
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R’n’Brie
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What is a cannibal’s favourite cheese? Limburger
What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? “That’s the most violent book I’ve ever read.”
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I’m Brieeee
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
When should you keep an eye on your cheese? When it’s up to no Gouda.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!!!
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? Quarter-pounder with cheese
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I’m Lac-ghost intolerant
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn’t get his stilton. What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than $ex.
What’s the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I’ve felt grater.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the “Big Cheese.”
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow? Blue cheese!
What is Tom Hanks’ favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
Why doesn’t cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it’s too Gouda to be true.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin’ Sharp.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that’s all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it’s to cheesey.
What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi.
What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with? Camembert.
What cheese can you disguise a small horse with? Mascapone.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam.
How do you handle dangerous cheese? Caerphilly.
What’s a Pirates favourite cheese? Chedd-AAR.
There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France… all that was left was de brie.
What do cheese salesmen say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Which is the most religious cheese? Emmental… it’s very hol(e)y….
Which cheese is an alcoholic? Livarot.
What does cheese like to drink? Morbier
Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a brie, I Cheddar the world and the Feta
cheese, everybodys looking for Stilton.
My business making clothes out of cheese has gone bust…..turns out that fromage frays.
What did the queen say when someone through cheese at her? ”How Dairy”
What d’you say to get rid of an old French cheese? It’s Tomme to go.
How do you confess your love to a Canadian cheesemonger? Teleme
What’s the best breed of dog to find a lost Stilton? A Colston Bassett hound!!
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