I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

162

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

132

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

145

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

142

My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

161

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

175

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

156

Isn’t it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.

159

I work to buy a car to go to work.

160

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

151