O’Malley said, “I am dying of cancer, son. I just don’t want any of them sleeping with your mother after I’m gone.”


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


Hear about the wall that went out on the town for its birthday?… Got plastered…


Mayan: Hey wanna beer? Other Mayan: I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.


Beer doesn’t turn people into somebody they’re not. It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.


A duck walks in to a bar and says “Give me 200 beers”. The bar tender says “How are you going to pay for that?” So the duck says “Just put in on my bill!!!”


How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


There’s a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.