Beach Puns

Funniest beach puns collection.

Beach Puns

What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?  I’m bacon!


How do men exercise at the beach?  By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.


Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?  The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.


What did the beach say to the wave? Long tide, no sea.


Yo momma is so fat when she was lying on the beach Green Peace tried to push her back in the water.


How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.


What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing – it just waved!


We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.


This summer, I’m going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say “Get a life” on them.


Went to the beach today; I could feel the women just dressing me with their eyes.


What is the best day to go to the beach? SUNday.


Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.


What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.


What do sheep do on sunny days? Have a baa-baa-cue.


What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? Show me your mussels.


What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.


What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.


What race is never run? A swimming race.


When do you go at red and stop at green? – When you’re eating a watermelon.


Why did the man love his barbecue? – Because it was the grill of his dreams.


We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.


What do you call a witch on a beach? A sandwitch!


How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach? It’s not hard.


What did the ocean say to the beach? A: Nothing — it just waved.


What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day? “I’m bakin’.”


How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach? He’s the one with the sesame-seed buns.


What was the geometry student looking for at the beach? A tangent.


How come you can’t find lawyers sunbathing on the beach? Cats keep covering them over with sand.


If you’re ever walking down the beach and you see a girl dressed in a bikini made out of seashells, and you pick her up and hold her to your ear, you can hear her scream.


Yo’ Mama is like a beached whale: stinky and tragic, but you can’t help but stare.