Friends are like balloons.

63

If you stab them, they die. My Mexican friend wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually,

50

it’s more of a wrap. Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans.

54

I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body

67

So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world

42

What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine

44

A crazy wife says o her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says “it’s reindeer”.

46

What kind of concert only costs 45 cent? A 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

44

My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends..

27

I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.

28