When the baby bird penned his first novel he was just a fledgling author.

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Why couldn’t the melons have a baby? Because they cantelope.

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Why shouldn’t you put a baby’s dirty diapers in the laundry bin? You wouldn’t want to hamper his movements!

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender.

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How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail it’s other hand to the floor

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What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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How do you make a dead baby float? A glass of soda water and 2 scoops of baby.

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